Archives » February 16th, 2007

February 16, 2007

Poppin’ Good Birthday

This is what they gave my wife as a birthday gift at the school where she works.

Poppin’ Good Birthday

She didn’t get it from her friends, she didn’t get it from students, she got it from the main office of the school. This is not a joke. This is not a gag gift. This is what they give everyone for their birthday.

A couple of months ago, my wife noticed that one of her coworkers had a bag of popcorn sticking out of her purse. Back then she wondered why. Now she knows.

There’s something pretty bizarre and insulting about handing out a single bag of popcorn as a birthday gift. It’s almost like an F-you, like when your waitress sucks so bad that you only leave a nickel for a tip. If you leave nothing, she’ll think you just forgot. So you give her five cents as a way of sending her a message. That’s what this feels like, you know? It’s so insignificant, it feels like an insult. Almost like you’d rather they didn’t get you anything. You’d rather they forget your birthday than give you popcorn.

I guess I can think of worse presents to get, but that doesn’t let them off the hook.